The Ultimate Break-up Playlist

So a friend of a friend got dumped recently and it started a debate about what constitutes a good break-up playlist. Someone tried to claim that it includes the slow, mopey songs that allow you to lie in bed with the shades drawn, while eating raw cookie dough and looking at pictures of the 'happier' times when you were still part of a couple.

I disagree.

The ultimate break-up playlist includes a combo of angry and empowering songs. These songs will ideally get you out of bed and be so aggressive/uplifting that you spend an extra 20 minutes on the elliptical (this, in turn, leads to a fitter Spring-Break physique, allowing you to attract the attention of a toned local. You can plaster pictures of you and Enrique all over Facebook come March. Fitting revenge on the ex that dumped you, yes?).

So, here it is: The Ultimate Break-up Playlist

1). So What-Pink

• Memorable line: "And you're a tool...so, so what? I am a rock star."

2). Gives You Hell-The All-American Rejects

• Memorable line: "You can take back your memories, they're no good to me."

3). Love Drunk-Boys Like Girls

• Memorable line: "Love you forever, forever is over."

4). You Oughtta Know-Alanis Morrisette

• Memorable line: "It's not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me."
  

5). Don't Rain On My Parade-Lea Michele (Glee Version)

• Memorable line: "Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to" OR "Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?"

6). Before He Cheats-Carrie Underwood

• Memorable line: "Cause the next time that he cheats, oh you know it won't be on me"

7). Smile-Lily Allen

• Memorable line: "At worst, I feel bad for awhile, but then I just smile, I go ahead and smile."

8). Don't Stop Me Now- Queen

• Memorable line: "Don't stop me now, I'm having such a good time."

9). I Don't Wanna Be In Love-Good Charlotte

• Memorable line: "We break up, it's something that we do now...it's okay, let it go."

10). Defying Gravity-Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenowith

• Memorable line: "And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free."

11). 7 Things-Miley Cyrus

• Side note: This song is written by a Disney star (about a Jonas brother), so it all magically works out in the last 30 seconds. You have to turn it off in the last 30 seconds when they get back together. There are no 7 things you like about your loser ex: remember this.
  

12). Kiss off-Violent Femmes

• Memorable line: "Well darling this is it., you can all just kiss off into the air."

13). Speechless-Lady Gaga (this is the cool-down song for the end of your single-empowered-workout. And yes, I simply had to slip Lady Gaga in here somewhere).

• Memorable line: "So baby raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts."
  

Well there it is! Whether you have been merely defriended on Facebook by a former flame or flat-out dumped for someone else, this is at least a jumping point. Although Take A Bow (Rihanna), So Close (Jon McLaughlin) or White Horse (Taylor Swift) are great options for a cryfest, my playlist will melt off the cookie-dough-pounds and earn you the admiration of new, more deserving members of the opposite sex.

And please, please: during the fragile post-break-up period avoid songs like You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift) and My Life Would Suck Without U (Kelly Clarkson) like the plague. You need to move on and listening to these songs on repeat is not the way to do it.