Some of you are probably mildly inconvenienced right about now, as we approach the end of the month. You might be thinking to yourselves: wow, I wish February didn't insist on being so contrarily "unique." February's abnormal shortness means we have to remember to pay our rent checks 2-3 days earlier (March 1st sneaks up after the 28th this year, instead of after the 30th or the 31st, like an ordinary month), and we have that depressing series of empty white boxes at the bottom of our monthly dry erase calendars, where dates like the "29th" and the "30th" should fall. We even have the unfortunate knowledge that we are that much closer to graduation. However, February's strange briefness results in one consequence that most of you probably never considered, and deprives me of something that most of you probably take for granted.
I am talking, of course, about my lack of half-birthday.
Now, I would like to preemptively acknowledge that I know that there are people out there whose actual birthdays fall on Leap Year. To my uncle, my best friend's dad, and that teacher I had in middle school: I salute you. Seriously, if I can work up enough energy to whine about my lack of half-birthday for a couple of paragraphs, I can't even imagine how I'd feel if people were deprived of an annual opportunity to shower me with cake, cards, gifts and attention. Having a real birthday once every four years is a cross no one should have to bear, so to all of you with the misfortune to enter the world on February 29th: I'm sorry.
Back to me and my woes. I was born on August 31st. Now, a lot of you other "31st" birthdays out there can probably emphasize with me. There is no such thing as June 31st, or September 31st, or November 31st. You might think: really, Michelle, this is a small loss. Yes, I suppose you're right. Sure, growing up, my best friend always got a small cake and a cd on her half-birthday. But I didn't want a cd, and I preferred brownies to cake anyways. And yes, maybe throughout the years I felt that small stab of jealousy when I saw people's Facebook status's "Halfway to 21!" knowing that I would never be able to write my own halfway-point-status (thanks to February's abnormality, there is a giant black-hole where my half-birthday should be: this year, we'll jump straight from February 28th to March 1st).
I know there are people out there worse off (I have seen the effects of the Leap Day birthday first hand one too many times). But whenever August 4th or January 12th or March 27th come along...think to yourself: wow, I'm 21 1/2 today. I'm one of the lucky ones.
(And yes, I'm off to write "My non-existent half-birthday" in one of those depressing empty white boxes -the one that should be February 31st- at the bottom of our apartment's joint dry-erase monthly calendar).
I am talking, of course, about my lack of half-birthday.
Now, I would like to preemptively acknowledge that I know that there are people out there whose actual birthdays fall on Leap Year. To my uncle, my best friend's dad, and that teacher I had in middle school: I salute you. Seriously, if I can work up enough energy to whine about my lack of half-birthday for a couple of paragraphs, I can't even imagine how I'd feel if people were deprived of an annual opportunity to shower me with cake, cards, gifts and attention. Having a real birthday once every four years is a cross no one should have to bear, so to all of you with the misfortune to enter the world on February 29th: I'm sorry.
Back to me and my woes. I was born on August 31st. Now, a lot of you other "31st" birthdays out there can probably emphasize with me. There is no such thing as June 31st, or September 31st, or November 31st. You might think: really, Michelle, this is a small loss. Yes, I suppose you're right. Sure, growing up, my best friend always got a small cake and a cd on her half-birthday. But I didn't want a cd, and I preferred brownies to cake anyways. And yes, maybe throughout the years I felt that small stab of jealousy when I saw people's Facebook status's "Halfway to 21!" knowing that I would never be able to write my own halfway-point-status (thanks to February's abnormality, there is a giant black-hole where my half-birthday should be: this year, we'll jump straight from February 28th to March 1st).
I know there are people out there worse off (I have seen the effects of the Leap Day birthday first hand one too many times). But whenever August 4th or January 12th or March 27th come along...think to yourself: wow, I'm 21 1/2 today. I'm one of the lucky ones.
(And yes, I'm off to write "My non-existent half-birthday" in one of those depressing empty white boxes -the one that should be February 31st- at the bottom of our apartment's joint dry-erase monthly calendar).
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