Confession

Have you ever narrated Millionaire Matchmaker to your roommates (with the TV on mute) or wikipedia-ed Stephen Colbert's life history and worried that you might be the biggest closet nerd out there? I am about to make you feel so much better about yourself.

Let's go back a year and half. I had a book series that I really liked...pure fluff reads along the lines of The Devil Wears Prada or Something Borrowed/Something Blue. Girl + Boy + Trendy Clothes = happily-ever-after. Totally formulaic, but the perfect escape for a college-sophomore going through a stressful week (and unwilling to suffer all next day by 'escaping' with $5 pitchers at Kam's). So, a year and a half ago I was suffering the ultimate stressful week: homework, Study Abroad deadlines, Executive Council paperwork, work. ALL I wanted was to spend the evening in a pair of sweatpants and give my mind the night off from stress as I focused on what I assumed would be Maggie and Devon's easy road to a happy end.

Well, that's not what I got. For some reason, in book 4 of a series that had yet to let me down, Author X decided to completely change her predictable, lovable formula. I stayed up until 3am, assuming, in vain, that if I just pushed through to that last page, Maggie and Devon would have their true love's kiss somewhere (a beach, in the rain, a public restroom...I didn't care, as long as it happened). It did not. In spite of the chick-lit-esque cover that practically screamed promises of a sappy, cliche love story, my two main characters did NOT fall in love. I had wasted $10 and hours of my time on an unhappy ending. I was annoyed, mad, and confused. So what did I do? (Here is the closet-nerd part).

I emailed the author.

When telling this story, I usually like to stop here and wonder how this must have looked to the author (who, thanks to her picture on the back cover, I can tell you seems completely cute, young and normal). Some girl emails her at 3am demanding to know why the main characters don't end up together, demanding to know why she would deviate from her normal formula, and demanding to know why Maggie would agree to go on a date with Joesph at the end of the novel when she so clearly is meant to be with Devon. I imagine Author X reading that email and picturing me as some sort of crazed, lonely housewife or sad, chubby teenager and I wish I could go back to that email and add "P.S. I swear I have friends."

Whatever she thought of me, the best part of this whole story is that she responded. Author X replied, at length, about just why she felt Maggie and Devon were not meant to be. She also gave me the heads-up that if I didn't like book 4, I should skip book 5 of the series, but that book 6 would be right back up my alley. (I caved and bought book 5...but only after it went to paperback). Tonight, while at Border's, I realized that Book 6 had finally (almost two years later) been released and it brought that whole sophomore-year-email conversation back. I'm hoping that Penelope and Reid end up together, because otherwise, I might have to reconnect with Author X.

I would also like to say that this was the one and only time I ever emailed an author. Sadly, this would be not true (I'm up to 4-it's an addiction). And as long as you aren't emailing J.K. Rowling, Stephenie Meyer, or Dan Brown, they respond. So take the advice of an overly-eager-fan: next time you don't quite understand why (oh why?!) Jeremy dumped Beth, or the CIA failed to crack the code, or the vampire drained the girl (instead of falling in love with her)...email Author X and demand answers. You might be surprised at the response.